


Choices

by thek9kid



Category: Arthurian Mythology, Merlin (TV)
Genre: Battle of Camlann, Death, Different Choices, Difficult Decisions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-20
Updated: 2018-03-20
Packaged: 2019-04-05 01:05:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,834
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14032782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thek9kid/pseuds/thek9kid
Summary: You think you know how this story ended. You think I killed Arthur and then he killed me. But neither I nor Arthur wrote that history. How could we? We're dead!Do you want to know what really happened? How the story actually ended?





	Choices

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Hey, so I’ve rediscovered my love for Merlin and my frustrations with season five, especially the ending. I love Mordred’s character, he had so much potential, but the show never did much with him. So here’s what might have happened if Mordred and Arthur made different decisions that fateful day. Enjoy!
> 
> Disclaimer: I don’t own anything

You think you know how this story ended. Who the bad guy is. Who the hero is. You think I killed Arthur, and before he died, he killed me too. You think I’m evil. But neither I nor Arthur wrote that history. No one saw what actually happened. No one knows what words were exchanged, or deeds performed, good or bad. Do you want to know what really happened? Do you want to know how the story really ended?

 

I entered the battlefield with malice in my heart. I knew what Morgana wanted me to do, what I have been destined to do since birth. I knew I wanted to kill the man who hung the only woman I ever loved. 

I stalked across the bloody battlefield, throwing saxtons and knights alike out of my way. My vision tinged red with rage as I caught sight of the man I once trusted with my life. The man I once would have given my life for. Arthur skillfully dispatching saxtons by the dozen. The man was tiring, his movements growing sluggish, yet the saxons were still no match for him. 

Without a thought I threw three saxtons and two knights out of my way. I didn’t watch to see if they died or not. As I approached, Arthur finally killed the last saxton in our immediate surroundings. He turned toward me, his eyes widening in surprise.

“Mordred?” He said, a questioning lilt at the end. Neither happy nor suspicious. He didn’t sound angry in the slightest. “Are you alright?” he asked looking up at me, his eyes flashing to my bloodstained face and neck, none of it was mine. It wasn’t the question I was expecting, I never anticipated the concern in his eyes. Or the compassion that filled his voice. 

I tried to will myself to move, to deal the deathblow while he was distracted with sentiment. But my legs wouldn’t move. My sword stuck at my side. And I remembered that terrified eight-year-old boy, who knew too much about the future. That eight-year-old boy who knew that one day he was supposed to kill a king, a good king. 

And I remembered that eight-year-old boy’s promise, ‘I won’t, I will never because I am not a killer.’

“Mordred?” Arthur asked again, he was edging closer, slowly, his sword raised, but not yet in a defensive position. “We can walk away from this,” he said, stopping a few feet in front of me. “We can go home, together. You can go home.” Home? Nowhere had ever felt like home, but Camelot came pretty close. Arthur dropped his sword, the point facing the blood-stained earth. His other arm outstretched. 

My hand started shaking, tightening around my sword’s hilt, and then loosening. I remembered Merlin’s haunting words that fateful night Kara and I tried to escape Camelot, “I have no choice,” but he did, and so do I. 

I looked up into Arthur’s blue eyes. There was no hate there, no fear, or resentment. I have a choice.

I’m sorry Kara.

I dropped my sword.

I reached out to Arthur, about to grasp his hand. But something behind him caught my eye. Another saxton was approaching quietly, his sword raised. His eyes caught mine and raised a finger to his lips. 

I didn’t even have to think about it. In a blink of an eye, I drew my dagger and threw it over Arthur’s shoulder, barely registering the King’s surprised eyes. He whirled around and watched the man fall to the ground. His head whipped back around staring at me in shock.

“Thanks,” he muttered breathlessly, a small relieved smile spread across his face. I felt my shoulders relax for a moment before another group of saxtons rounded into the valley, surrounding us.

“Incoming,” I said, bending down to pick up my sword. The king twirled his sword in his hands twice, before turning and standing at my back. I felt my throat tighten, he actually trusted me to defend his back. After everything, I’ve done? I tightened my grip on my sword and focused on the soldiers in front of me.

We fought together, easily defeating most of them. The more tired, weak, and less skilled going down easily. But there were about four left who seemed to never tire, whose skills matched our own. They managed to separate us, each of us facing two. I managed to kill both of mine. But the king had been fighting much longer than I, and his two opponents were taking advantage. Arthur managed to deal a fatal blow to one.

I saw the other at his back aim his blow and saw it was heading for the back of Arthur’s neck. I was too far away to reach them in time. I used my magic to fling the saxton out of the way and onto an upturned sword stuck in the ground. Arthur turned again, looking at me. His laugh made me jump.

“That’s the second time you saved me in less than five minutes.” I didn’t know what to say, so I just shrugged, a small smile on my face. He closed the distance between us in a few long steps. To my surprise, he embraced me, one of his hands on the back of my neck, the other around my back. I hesitated a moment before I wrapped both of mine around his back too.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered in his ear, my voice shaking. He shook his head.

“You have nothing to apologize for.”

“I betrayed you,” I protested in wonder, how could Arthur forgive me so easily? 

“But I betrayed you first,” he said, “I am the one who is sorry,” his arms tightened around back.

“I forgive you,” I said softly in his ear, looking out over the plain. In the distance I saw an archer high on a cliff, his bow drawn back. I knew I didn’t have much time. 

Quickly, I turned us around and used my magic to push Arthur back as far as I could. I saw the confused expression on his face turn to horror before I felt the arrow enter my back. I collapsed to my knees and Arthur rushed forward, catching me in another hug.

“That’s three,” I muttered, coughing up a mouthful of blood.

“No no nono nononononono,” Arthur whispered shaking his head, his hands going to my wound. Another arrow whizzed past both of us. Arthur looked up at the archer. “We have to get out of here.”

“Leave me,” I whispered hoarsely.

“No!” Arthur growled, hauling me up to my feet and dragging me behind a boulder. He settled us both down, before taking another look at the wound and the arrow sticking out of my chest.

“Can’t you heal yourself with magic?” He asked desperately.

I laughed, “‘m shit at healing spells,” my smile ruined by the bloody coughs.

Arthur nodded grimly and set to work. He leaned me forward, breaking the arrow off and pulling it out. I held back a scream at the pain. He used cloth from his tunic to try to stop the bleeding, but it was no use. “Arthur,” he didn’t look up, just kept working, “you need to get out of here,” I protested weakly, grabbing one of his hands.

“Mordred, stop. I’m not leaving you. And you are NOT allowed to die on me, that’s an order.”

“You can’t give me orders, I’m not a knight anymore,” I laughed weakly.

“Yes you are, I never de-knighted you.”

I raised an eyebrow, “de-knighted me?”

He nodded, “there’s a ceremony and everything. Ending with all of the knights throwing apples at the de-knighted knight until he flees the castle. Since none of the knights threw any apples at you, you’re still my knight, and you have to do as I say.”

“Ok,” I said, too weak to protest. 

“But, you’re right we do need to get out of here.” He stood, hauling me once again to my feet. I leaned against the border as Arthur sheathed his sword, and tucked mine into his belt as well. Just as we were about to set off for safer ground. Another group of saxtons rounded the boulder, surrounding us both. “Shit,” Arthur murmured. He stepped fully in front of me, unsheathing both swords. Like he once did when I was a child. 

The saxton’s charged Arthur all at once and he stood his ground, never once leaving me open for an attack. 

But there were too many of them, and only one Arthur, eventually he grew tired and one saxton got in a lucky shot, stabbing Arthur through his chest, he fell to his knees, “No,” I whispered, my vision went red again. Using the last of my strength I used my magic to send them flying through the air away from us.

I dropped to my knees next to my king, and lent him against me, leaning against the boulder myself. 

“We’re going to die,” I whispered, the true weight of those words falling on me for the first time. I felt my eyes sting at the thought. Merlin would never know what happened, would never know the truth. He would think I killed Arthur.

“Hey, don’t think about that,” I looked down at him, his sky blue eyes burning into mine. “Do you remember your first hunt with us,” I laughed at the memory. I killed the most game that day, but all of them were squirrels, the evil little buggers.

“Gwaine never did stop calling me The Squirrel Slayer,” I whispered breathlessly. 

Arthur laughed once, blood bubbling up from his lips, he looked up at me again, “You still are.”

I frowned in confusion, “A Squirrel Slayer?”

“No,” he laughed a laugh that was more of a harsh breath. “You’re still my most loyal Knight, even if no one else will ever know.”

I closed my eyes, tears flowing down my cheeks, “And you will always be the greatest King this land will ever know.” Arthur looked up at me, his blue eyes beginning to become cloudy, “My King.” 

Arthur gripped my hand in his own and looked up at the sky. “Look at the stars Mordred, look at the moon.”

 

The last things I saw on this earth, were Arthur’s bright blue eyes, the shining half moon barely visible through the cloudy sky, and a few pinpricks of stars peeking through the grey curtain. 

And that’s how the story really ended. I didn’t kill Arthur, and he didn’t kill me. We died saving each other. We died in forgiveness, not hate and scorn. We died looking at the moon and the stars.

But Merlin would never know that. He would find our bodies slumped together, both our swords bloody. He would cry and scream at the heavens, and assume the worst. He would carry Arthur’s dead body to Avalon and leave mine to rot on the battlefield.

Merlin always did think the worst of me.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed reading this! Don’t forget to comment and leave kudos!
> 
> TTFN
> 
> K9KID OUT!


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